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Mike Insko

“I’m trying guys, I’m really trying but I just can’t”

Trying what you ask? Trying to like soccer. I love sports because of the passion of the fans, the excitement that comes with victories and the agony that comes from defeat. I love sports for the rewards of hard work and dedication, the thrill of being the best. I love sports for the constant moments of urgency that create such memorable moments......


Wait, I’ve figured it out just now. This is the actual deal breaker for me in my sincere effort to like soccer. There are no recurring or unexpected moments of urgency. There is no change in momentum, there is so little back and forth action. The score rarely represents the actual distinction in strength between teams. It’s like watching someone run a marathon, it’s dull.


No other sport has so such long stretches of inactivity. This is a sport that values time of possession, pass success percentages and aerial duals won as primary measures of offensive success. None of this screams fun, not even a little. Using the English Premier league as an example, currently Bayern Munich has the most shots per game average, 19.2 over 90 minutes, with an average of 7.2 considered ‘on target’. So, what that means is that about every 13 minutes somebody has a chance to score, and if drilled down further I would guess that half of those 7.2 have a reasonable, credible threat to actually score. In between looks like people playing keep away in the park. 90% of the game is played outside of reasonable scoring chances, an exhaustion of player energy and a sapping of my energy as a consumer.


At his point, though, I will take a pause and absolutely acknowledge that soccer players are extraordinarily fit, unbelievable athletes. Penalty kicks in a shootout are awesome. The skill required to see and pass into space, dribbling and juggling and bending the ball, headers and touches that are so precise all while on the move and being aggressively defended is ridiculous. I just wish it translated into a tangible outcome, like an actual goal more than once every week or so.


Back to my point, I am not one of those soccer haters that whines about flopping, stoppage time, or the most ridiculous and restrictive rule in sports - soccer’s version of offsides that is played by overpaid prima-donna’s. I don’t even mind that the most fervent fans ridicule me for not addressing it properly as ‘football’ or ‘futball’. There is nothing at all to get excited about or celebrate and the sport has not evolved. Make the field smaller, keep less players on the pitch. I would love to see how much more action there would be if they played the game across the width of the field with few players like indoor soccer, which is great fun to watch – picture hockey overtime with 3 on 3. If soccer games ended 14-12 it would be awesome.


One of the reasons I love sports is the passion of the fans, as noted at the start of this column, and no other sport can rival the spirit and emotion of soccer fans, there is no 2nd place, not even close. I will say though, that soccer competitions around the world are set up as country versus country, region versus region, and so forth. You are playing for your people, that drives the passion. It is the reason I always watch every Olympics and every World Cup. The game does not inspire the passion, the pridefulness of your nation or your region inspires the passion. That in itself is a wonderful thing, but it ain’t gonna drive me to change my mind about the excitement the actual game lacks.


I am done trying.

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1 Comment


dramafoxxx
Jun 22, 2022

Amazing article 🙌

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