….and you are coaching youth sports, you are doing it all wrong. Not all of you, but most of you and I am going to tell you why. Parents are destroying youth sports in America, not just the coaches with the win first mentality, but the parents with their unrealistic expectations of their children and the unprecedent need for success at an early age. Children are not equipped for the emotions of wins and losses, and neither are their parents. Go to YouTube and you can see endless amounts of videos of parent fights, issues of berating behaviors toward officials and coaches, and downright juvenile actions. These actions are not only irresponsible in the examples and priorities they are setting for their children, but unjustified based on what really should be expected of youth sports. You see, youth sports should be 100% developmental. Wins and losses are a part of the game, but should not be the beacon that drives the experience, but rather just a measure of improvement or a simple snapshot of one’s current abilities whether a team sport or an individual sport. Sure, we want to see our children do well, but when the sole focus of youth sports is on winning now, nobody actually wins.
Per the National Alliance for Youth Sports, 70% of children quit sports by the time they are 13, because they are no longer having fun, there is a push for success driven by specialization, and pressure from their parents. Think about that, 7 out of 10 kids are unhappy and quit – what the absolute fuck are we doing? Do you really want your child or the children you coach to be the best 10 year old in town, or do you want them to be the best 22 year old, when it might matter? You cannot have both. Parents and coaches care way more about winning at this age than the kids do, and who really cares or remembers their kids local soccer league championships even a couple of months later??? No one. Certainly not the kids. Kids just want to have fun. Our current youth sports environment doesn’t create a climate that allows for that. Here is what you are doing wrong and why…..
Specialization – knock it off. The worst thing you can do to a child is have them specialize in one sport only, or even worse one position only. Look at professional sports today, every single one of them is ridiculously athletic, there is no elegance in sports anymore. You must train the children to be athletes first, and then play the sport. Today’s sports require resilience, adaptability, locomotion and agility. Nothing is ever the same. Training one sport or activity leads to boredom, injury and failure almost every time. Even done well, this doesn’t work. Cubs fans remember Mark Prior – he was going to be the next Cy Young, can’t miss baseball superstar. Perfect body, perfect mechanics, superstar in training. How’d that work out, even perfect mechanics over used break down – he never lasted beyond his first contract. Football fans remember Todd Marinovich, best mechanics of any prospect ever. Surefire Hall of Famer from middle school on they said. Flamed out and never heard from again. The best coach my son ever had in any sport was a complete whack job coaching baseball. Knew nothing of baseball, came to the first practice and told the parents the kids would listen to country music at every practice, every kid would play a different position every game and would bat in a different order every game. Near mutiny from the parents of these 10 year olds. They went 0-14 during the season. Practices amounted to the players throwing and catching from all over the place. They kicked soccer balls and dribbled basketballs. In batting practice they had to swing at every pitch no matter what. He taught them nothing, he created an environment where they learned to adapt and have fun and they challenged each other through just playing, no formality and no structure – go play and have fun and adapt. They played the playoffs with each player at the position that they learned by trial that was best suited for them. They lost in the championship game in extra innings to the team that went 14-0 and had all “travel team” players on it. (Don’t get me started on travel teams). That is what youth sports should look like – the guy still knows nothing about baseball, but he knew how to make kids yearn to return.
Talent Selection vs. Talent Identification – coaches in youth sports suck at this, most wouldn’t understand it if I explained it to them. Talent selection is what all coaches do right now. Give me all of the best players right now at this age and I am going to make them win. Any schmuck can take the best players, put them in the right place and you are now the best 5th grade team in the city. Way to go. Talent Identification is the ability of a coach to look at a child - their body type, their interest level, their level of self-challenge – and project what that player could become down the road and keep that child engaged even though he or she may not look the best or have the best results compared to others who may be more mature or have had more opportunity. So many of the 70% who quit the game are not given a chance to participate because the do not appear to be as “athletic” as the others who can contribute to winning now. Talent identifiers understand that these children will surpass others as their bodies develop and mature, and have much higher ceilings than many who appear more athletic at earlier ages. There is no indicator of future success related to current success for kids at this age, yet those that can help youth teams win now get all of the opportunity and attention. Perfect example, my buddy’s son was the tallest kid in his class all through middle school and his doctors projected him to be 6’5”- which would essentially make him a point guard in today’s mostly position-less college or pro basketball. Of course, rather than coaching him to dribble, pass or any other relevant and necessary skill they had him back to the basket, told him to rebound, keep the ball above your head and pass it out to someone to shoot again. All so that they could win now. Zero consideration for projecting out what he could be someday as a player. Hell, what if he somehow found the ball in his hands at midcourt?? So shortsighted and only focused on winning. He never played again as he was pigeonholed into a being a center and it was made clear that is what he would be doing in the future. Coaches have a responsibility to develop our base of athletes, not crowd 12 year old’s trophy cabinets.
Requirement to be perfect – Allow your players to fail, that is how we learn. Coaches and parents should never tell a kid how good they are, and never keep them from dreaming what they could be. Learning comes from challenge, and challenge inspires fun – its why video games are all mission based. Coaches need to be more athlete centered, let them determine the challenge and let them try and fail, it is the only way you truly know what they are capable of. Without allowing them to fail, you are building a ceiling for their ability, you are suggesting to them they cannot do something, what a terrible message. If they try a dumb pass at the wrong time and fail, they will learn from that. If they try a dumb pass at the wrong time and it is successful, the coach just learned something – everybody just got better as a player and the coach and. Notice the theme – learning. Not winning.
The more formality there is to practices and programs, the more we eliminate fun and therefore eliminate children from participating. We lose our base of athletes and we weaken our chances of producing more well-rounded, emotionally prepared athletes at the highest level. We also create more emotionally scarred, and physically wounded children in the wake. Can we all just agree to coach happy, successful, emotionally prepared children and let them determine their ceiling level of ability, and if they win a little along the way as a measure of improvement then great.
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