As another season of baseball approaches, all its ugly qualities are beginning to bloom like spring flowers. I know this because I find myself in a neighborhood watering hole from time to time, and I love to talk sports. Chicago is legendary for barstool debates about everything related to sports, regardless of the experience or knowledge of the everyday cocktail combatants. Do you know what nobody is talking about – the delay of the baseball season. And here is why.
Let’s cast aside the fact that players change teams at “deadlines” like Kardashian’s change celebrity men and teams become unrecognizable from year to year. Forget that small market owners have had little incentive to put a competitive team on the field or asses in the seats with profit sharing in place. Overlook the fact that the players don’t understand that those who take on the risk of running a business are also allowed to profit from said business. Let’s examine what really is putting a ceiling on new fans and younger generations staying engaged, what really makes it unwatchable at times.
Purists and idealists, lifelong newsmen who have basements full of memorabilia and a story for every city they have been in provide great fodder, for about 10 seconds. Yes, baseball was great then for some of the reasons describe above. However, lifestyles, the athletes, the consumers – everything evolves. Which leads me to my point, baseball has not.
More specifically, baseballs traditions and unwritten rules suck – yeah, I said it. Let’s take a look at just a few of my least favorite’s in no particular order of rage:
· All Star game winner is the home team for the World Series. Read that statement again. Let’s take the game the players care the least about and place the most importance on it. Sorry I missed that Mensa meeting.
· Balks. Ok, maybe that isn’t pure or unwritten, buy why?! Volleyball has fake spikes, football has play action, soccer has two players going at the same free kick, and basketball has the behind the back pass, the step back and the Euro step. All are meant to deceive, and the players have to adapt – dare we call it exciting? What would it lead to if eliminated – quicker outs or more runs, which loosely translates to more excitement or shorter games? Everybody wins in my book.
· Don’t bunt during a no-hitter…. really. Any time you find yourself down and need to spark a chance to win, take it. All day, every day. Today’s athletes are elite in every sport. No lead is sacred. If the pitcher is gonna get butt-hurt because he gave up a bunt to break up the no-hitter, then throw a pitch he can’t bunt – much like you do at any other time during the game when a bunt is called for strategically. If this is the case, you can’t allow an infield shift when Kyle Schwarber is at bat during a no hitter – can’t have it both ways. Same for running up a score – I’m cool with it.
· Play the game the right way. I’ll keep this short and sweet, if somebody can explain to me what the heck that means I am all ears. I just think of hockey and the fact they treat each other what appears to be the wrong way for 60 minutes and seven games and shake hands at the end……seems right to me.
· And the loser is……Don’t show up the umpire. Because Joe West or Angel Hernandez should be on a pedestal. Their lack of judgement and decision making is legendary, and they shouldn’t be put under the same scrutiny as the rest of us….heck, I can feel people judging me right now. What I truly despise though is the hypocrisy of this. Watch any game and inevitably the home plate umpire will throw a quick two finger poing or subtle air punch to his right to signal strike one or strike two. A called strike three, though, will produce an epileptic seizure-like choreography that they have been practicing since they were batting ninth and playing right field in pee wee ball. But please don’t show them up while they are stealing the show.
There are more, but I’m already perturbed typing it. Don’t get me wrong, I played all kinds of sports growing up – all of them. I firmly believe hitting a baseball at the professional level is the most difficult thing to do in sports. I also believe solving a Rubic’s cube is very difficult. As currently constructed, I could find a lot of other things way more entertaining to spend my time watching. Here’s looking forward to the All Star game.
But what do I know…..I eat bacon, drink bourbon and share random thoughts – right or wrong!
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